Well, I took a while to upload items... unload my car... and prepare this post.  I've got these two videos (one a little longer than the other).


and...


We had a lovely mix of folks, coming and going about 20 people, from the Boulder area as well as some who were traveling around and happened to be able to hit this event!!  Each person with their own lovely contribution to this world - was a treasure to meet!  I know I didn't get to formally meet each person individually ... I still struggle at times with being at an event that I organize and actually settling into it and not feeling like I have to be doing something more.

There was a table to share your thoughts, which a few people did do, lovely to have these memories of the event!  There was also a universe box where you could write out a wish to the universe and place it in the box to be manifested for you!  :)  I will take these *wishes* and include them in a small ritual of practice that I do for myself that is somewhat similar by burning the paper in my fireplace at home to "let go" of the wish and truly let the Universe work on the magic of bringing the wish into fruition.

Thank you to each of one of you who were able to make it out to the event and create the magic of this gathering! 

We have a few of our members who took photos of the event, so I do hope that you all will link back to your photos and blogs in the comments section here so that we can explore the full gathering experience through each of you.

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SPECIAL THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING:

Jackson and his group Sacrebleu for making this gathering grounded with music!

Todd, and his son, Kyle, for helping with items being delivered and for cooking the BocaBurgers and SmartDogs!!!!

Michael for helping unload and then reload my car with all the goodies for/from the event.
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ARE YOU MISSING A RED BACKPACK:  There was an extra backpack left at the event, so if you attended the event and happened to forget this item, I have it and you can contact me  to claim it.  I will post an add on our local Craigslist also to hopefully find the owner.

I took a quiz today from Zephyr's blog entry... I love taking quizzes!  Fun to look at it for what today offers... how I am "thinking" I am a Thinker today.... hehehe!

Here are my results from this quiz: 

You are a Logical-Mathematical Thinker
		Logical-Mathematical thinkers: Like to understand patterns and relationships between objects or actions Try to understand the world in terms of causes and effects Are good at thinking critically, and solving problems creatively
Like Logical-Mathematical thinkers, Leonardo based his theories on evidence rather than speculation.		Other Logical-Mathematical Thinkers include Isaac Newton, Archimedes, Albert Einstein Careers which suit Logical-Mathematical thinkers include Physicist, Chemist, Biologist, Lawyer, Computer programmer, Engineer, Inventor

You are an Interpersonal Thinker
		Interpersonal thinkers: Like to think about other people, and try to understand them Recognise differences between individuals and appreciate that different people have different perspectives Make an effort to cultivate effective relationships with family, friends and colleagues
Like interpersonal thinkers, Leonardo had lots of friends and contacts, and was a popular figure at the Italian court.		Other Interpersonal thinkers include Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, William Shakespeare Careers which suit Interpersonal thinkers include Politician, Psychologist, Nurse, Counsellor, Teacher

You are an Intrapersonal thinker
		Intrapersonal thinkers: Spend a lot of time thinking about and trying to understand themselves Reflect on their thoughts and moods, and work to improve them You understand how your behaviour affects your relationships with others
Like intrapersonal thinkers, Leonardo worked hard to improve all aspects of himself.		Other Intrapersonal thinkers include Sigmund Freud, Gandhi, Grahame Greene Careers which suit Intrapersonal Thinkers include Psychologist, Teacher, Pilot, Child care worker, Explorer, Drama therapist

Fun!

Yes, I am in an "event mode" it seems!  I know about and want to share great events that are happening in the local community that I live in... Casey shared a post not long ago that I wanted to give some more attention to...

Robert Masters in Boulder

Although, I may not be able to attend this visit of Robert to the Boulder area, I am looking forward to working with this incredible teacher at some point in the near future.  After reading about his work (along with his lovely wife) ... I had a profound sense of peace about being able to learn from both of them.

Just from what Casey has shared and then also what Laura shared in the comments of the blog post ... it is clear that people benefit in LIFE-CHANGING ways to work with the Masters (I like that their last name indicates what they are helping us become in our own lives!!!).

I highly recommend that if you are able to attend this event ... make it happen! You won't be sorry!!!

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thanks to C4Chaos for sharing this quiz!

You See the World Through Yellow Colored Glasses

You live your life with optimism. You remain happy through the bad times, and your outlook remains bright. You judge all interactions through the lens of hope. You try to see the best in people, and you give them the benefit of the doubt. You face challenges with a spirit of adventure. Things are what they are, so you might as well make the best of them. You see love as the utmost expression of personal joy. You tend to be attracted to lively, friendly people. At your worst, you are a bit petty and jealous. You want to be everyone's shining star. You are happiest when you're daydreaming or thinking up fresh ideas.

Someone was thinking of me when they received a quiz email today.... so She forwarded the link to me.  I took a couple, this one is a fun one to share:

Your personality tendencies in a nutshell...

You dislike making commitments or plans because another more attractive opportunity may arise later. You are curious about many different things and highly value artistic expressions and ingenious thoughts. You are calm and logical for the most part, but some things worry you more than others. You are typically respectful toward others and dislike confrontation. You may be outgoing or reserved depending on the situation.

Your link: http://www.youjustgetme.com/mscaprikell 

YouJustGetMe.com's guest psychologist Dr. Peggy has a little more, uh, informal interpretation of your traits...

About that "Casual" bubble... "What's the big deal?" might be one of your favorite mottos. Indeed, you are pretty casual in your approach to life, taking thing as they come and not worrying too much about the future, or even the next minute. You're spontaneity earns you friends as you are very fun to be with. However, the same friends might be annoyed by your inability to show up to places on time, or even show up. Your parents may have worried about your lack of ambition at times, but hey, there's a job for everyone....even slackers like yourself. While your more stuffy peers are worrying about their incomes and 401Ks, you are out there living life to the fullest, today, tomorrow, forever. Your scores indicate that while you tend to be fairly relaxed, you also exhibit some responsible tendencies. Could it be that sometimes you actually have a plan and enjoy some semblance of order? Who knows, maybe tomorrow you might actually choose to work instead of play.


About that "Alternative" bubble... You are intellectually curious, imaginative, and literary. I do believe the technical term is "artsy fartsy." When reading poetry, the images may move you until you quiver with delight, or perhaps quivering from all of the espresso that you've been drinking. Speaking of caffeine, it would not be a big surprise if you indulged in other substances to heighten your senses. After all, whoever heard of creative geniuses who were sober? Freud was a coke-head, Hemingway was a fall-down drunk, and Robert Johnson supposedly sold his soul to the devil, probably while high on wacky tabacky. You have quite the active fantasy life and are often in la la land, earning you the well-deserved nickname "space cadet" from your loved ones. Mostly, you're a lot of fun to hang out with because you're always game for whatever idea your non-medicated (but should be) friend has in mind. The next time someone suggests that you streak naked in the dead of winter, do think twice, or at least wear some mittens.


About those "Unemotional" and "Neurotic" bubbles... To quote the Hershey chocolate company, "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." That pretty much sums up your score on the trait of emotional stability. There are times when you feel such intensity of emotions, mostly negative, that you just want to lie down and spend the day thinking about how you can score Prozac. In other contexts (like when you are on your meds), you feel just fine - calm, happy, ready to face the day. The emotions cancel each other out and you look like you are dealing with life fairly well statistically. Another possibility for your middle scores on emotional stability is that some things push your button more than others and when your buttons get pushed, you stress and freak. What's that I hear? Is that your mom calling? For the most part though, you are the epitome of grace under pressure.


About that "Cooperative" bubble... Your scores would suggest that you tend to be more agreeable than you are competitive. What does that mean? For starters, it means that you have a fairly strong tendency to believe in social harmony and cooperation. You are a nice person. You want people to get along and do the right thing - for each other, for the greater humanity. That's not to say that you are a total pushover, but that you believe in the niceties of life. This is probably why you are very popular with people and have many friends. The difference between you and someone who is very high in agreeableness is that you have a bit of an edge. Maybe you laugh when people fall down and hurt themselves, maybe you secretly occasionally think people suck. Whatever it is that's holding you back from winning Ms. or Mr. Congeniality, that's also what makes you more interesting.


About those "Introverted" and "Extraverted" bubbles... There are two possible reasons why you might have scored right smack dab in the middle on the trait of extraversion/introversion. First, you may be the type of person that answers "that sort of sounds like me" to questions about how you interact with the world. Do you like to party like it's 1999? Do you enjoy making small talk with the walls at a friendly get together? The answer to these incisive questions and other similar inquiries that tap into your social prowess would typically be "sometimes." The second possible reason why you are both extraverted and introverted (or neither of these traits, depending on how you look at it) is because you are statistically bipolar - answering an emphatic, "yessiree Bob" to some questions, while inaudibly whispering "that's not me" to other questions - causing your answers to cancel each other out. Never fear, balance is here. Frankly, being capable of enjoying time out with friends and sharing a laugh or two is that much sweeter if you can also savor time alone and take pleasure in quiet.

Want to take this one yourself?  http://www.youjustgetme.com  or just click through from my link above.

So... I guess you could say I had yet another change of my life this morning.  Without warning and quite unbelievably ... I was laid off from Gaiam.

I still feel stunned, numb and horrified by this news. 

Here I had moved half way across the country at the strong desire of the corporate folks at Gaiam to have the "corporate team" of Zaadz move to Boulder to bring this strong presence of our "energy" into their corporate offices.

That was then ... then was only 11 months ago ... not even a year and already "things have changed" ... I committed to TWO years of being with this company to move here; the couldn't guarantee me one year of employement.  It's sad ... I'm angry ... as an accountant, I also understand... but I don't have to like this.

I wanted more than anything to be employed within the community - to continue to help developing it both online and especially even more so, offline - events, gatherings, work projects, etc.  Getting the Gaia brand identity into this local community as a word of integrity, authenticity and a brand known for getting involved to be the change through it's local communities.

Now, some might say ... "hey, you can still do that as an ambassador" ... true ... but first and foremost, I now have to secure employment to insure that I can live here still.  This means a ton of focus on ME ... me taking care of my own needs and letting the community go to the back-burner for a while ... and that, quite frankly, breaks my heart even more.  I had dreams for this... strong, passionate dreams.  I guess they wait.

I've recieved so many loving and positive wishes from co-workers and friends in this community ... and it warms my heart and brings rivers of tears to my soul and eyes thinking of being separate from this team as an employee now.  I already miss so many of my co-workers ... they are like family to me... I loved getting to see them everyday.  And for the remote co-workers ... as challenging as that was, I still felt like they were there with me everyday ... via emails, iChat, or what-have-you.  Now it's all so very surreal ... like I am being forced to let go of this dream and float in this unknown ... free falling it seems.

I'm kinda venting at this point and just letting stuff flow out of my head ... the hurt is big today.  Even so... I do know that everything happens for a reason and this too is part of the bigger picture to help me grow into something that is so totally perfect for me ... it's part of the path. 

I'll write more later as I process ... I kinda wish I had the dignity and grace that Jake had when he wrote his letter ... or that Rommel had in his email ... but I just had so few thoughts that were able to be strung together... stunned is all I could manage this morning.

Change happens ... this I know for certain.  I have learned that Trust is invaluable and it has got to be the most challenging thing for me at this point ... because I trusted this company and the people who helped transition us over into the previous change.  I regret nothing.  But right now I can not say that I am happy with the decisions that have been made. 

change ... happens.  some were lucky?

amazing the distortion of perception that happens through tears... I can't even see what's in front of me.... somewhat forced to trust what my future has in store for me.

Time to be a Creator again ... and again.

and ... again.